And I am yours
by Love's to blame
Summary: There's nothing left of her, except for a voice recording and a story that has various sides to it- He can't stop the past, He's unable to rewind the future. The only way for Chuck to learn Blair's secret is to push play.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: This story is loosely based off the novel "Thirteen Reasons Why." However, it will not follow that storyline.  
****Author's Note: This story does mention suicide. Please try to keep an open mind and don't get offended.**

This story starts near the end, on an early Sunday morning, just as the golden orb known as the sun was slowly rising over the Manhattan skyline. The main subject of our story no longer lives in this glorious city - full of wealthy socialites, bustling traffic and breeding grounds of scandalous gossip. In fact, she no longer lives anywhere. To be blunt, she's dead. She took her own life and left behind a man who loved her, possibly more than he could have ever loved his self.

Perhaps for this reason alone we should consider him to be the hero of this tragic story, a dark prince who comes riding up on his white horse a few seconds too late. He doesn't live in a castle but rather a hotel, ruling his concrete kingdom from the penthouse he shared with his best friend.

Now let's get back to the day of the week- Sunday. For some it was just another day to stay in bed and hide from the rest of the world. Others used it to practice religion. For the infamous Chuck Bass, the first day of a new week was usually reserved for long walks through Central Park that almost always ended with a kiss near the duck pond. He would never admit this to anyone, especially not the girlfriend of his who "forced" him to go on such walks, but he enjoyed them. In fact, there were a few times when he actually looked forward to them. Like this very morning for instance. When he awoke, before reality had a chance to set in, he went to his straight to his closet to prepare for a date that would never happen.

He was walking out of his bedroom, freshly showered and fully dressed, when a package caught his eye. It was small, around the size of a shoebox, rewrapped in recycled Christmas paper and sealed with clear packing tape. It looked exactly the same way it had been sent to him. One of the maids had done a good job of wrapping it. He considered tracking the person down and thanking them with a tip but the thought disgusted him.

How could he possibly pay someone for packing up the last bits of her that he had left?

_Breathe_, Chuck whispered. A bead of sweat rolled down from his hairline onto his face. He didn't bother to wipe it away. He was too busy taking small, tentative steps towards the box. After what felt like an eternity of walking, he finally reached it. He held the package in his hand. He didn't want to let it go but he had to. There was someone else on the list after him.

Chuck momentarily wondered how he would send it. Should he give it to the doorman of the next person's building, like whoever before him did? Or should he use a postal service. Lord knows that Eleanor could use one last day of rest before she was confronted by the past.

He lifted a hand to his forehead, using his fingers to rub the wrinkles out of his brow. To be honest, he didn't care how it would get to the Waldorf penthouse. It just had to be done that very day. The longer he kept it, the longer he would force himself to suffer.

A tumbler of scotch was resting nearby, he fantasized gulping down the amber venom as though it were some potion that could make him forget the previous night. But he would never forget the sorrow in her voice. He will forever be haunted with the knowledge that he had missed it when he had a chance to save her. Last night, he heard her pain loud and clear. Unfortunately, it was too late for anyone to do anything about it.

He was a wreck. And it was all his fault. It was all of their faults, because she was once theirs but they let her slip away.

**Author's Note #2: leave a review and let me know what you think**


	2. Chapter One

The second the elevator door slid open, yesterday afternoon, Chuck noticed the package. No less than an hour before that moment did he decide to sort out his life and never let anything else fall out of place again, personal possessions included. He wanted to maintain as much regularity as he possibly could and the box threatened that. It may have seemed harmless but it was fucking up his grieving process which is why his eyes immediately landed on it. Also, much to the elusive package's credit, it was a vibrant shade of cheerful green that had a tendency to stick out around the holidays.

His first instinct was to throw the damn thing away. The sender was anonymous, leaving no name or address- anything could have been concealed inside that box. Curiosity, however, got the best of him eventually. He was wary but also a little excited at the prospect of receiving what seemed to be a belated Christmas gift. Perhaps a secret admirer was attempting to cheer him up, it wasn't going to work but the thought was nice enough.

Chuck never was the type of child who ripped open presents the second they were placed in his greedy little hands. His father thought it was odd, his mother used to say that he was just considerate- someone had taken the time to perfectly wrap his gifts, it would be selfish of him to ruin all their hard work in just a matter of seconds.

He sat down on the couch, the package directly in front of him, on the coffee table. Chuck picked it up, turning it over to inspect it. Unfamiliar handwriting had scribbled his name across the top. He brought it to his ears, shaking it lightly to hear what was hidden inside. There was a few dull thuds as the mystery object hit the sides of the box. He considered giving it a sniff but quickly decided against that, the very idea seemed ridiculous.

He ran his hands along the side until he came across a piece of tape. He pulled it back by scraping the edge with his fingernail. Once it was loose, he slid his hand under the wrapping paper, taking it off in a slow, careful manner so that it would not tear. The box beneath the paper was sealed shut with a heavy layer of masking tape. He had to ransack the kitchen for a pair of scissors so that he could finish opening it.

Inside was a black ipod and earphones. Chuck picked it up, identifying it immediately. It had once belonged to Blair. She used to put on the earphones and blast horrible pop songs from the eighties as she blocked out the rest of the world. There was also a note._ Listen to the podcast_ - it read. He turned the piece of paper over but that was it. Those four words were all she thought she needed to say, even the most technology retarded person would figure it out eventually.

He turned on the small machine. The apple logo appeared for a few seconds before the menu popped up. Chuck scrolled down and clicked on the music playlist. Blair obviously wanted to make finding the podcast easy since she deleted every song that was once on the MP3 player. He put on the earphones, getting one last second of wonderful silence before he pushed play.

**Play**

_Hey, it's me_, she said softly. Then as though he didn't already know who she was, she clarified. _This is Blair, just in case you've forgotten. I haven't been dead that long. Have I?_

Chuck shook his head. "No, it's barely been three weeks" He answered although she couldn't hear him, she never would hear him again.

_For some of you, this will simply be me telling you goodbye. For a certain unlucky few, it's my way of saying fuck you. Your secrets won't die with me. You're either going to acknowledge what you did - how you ruined me - or everyone is going to know the things you're too afraid to even admit to yourself._

"She's talking about me" Chuck thought. "I ruined her, I destroyed her" He paused, inhaling a deep breath. "I killed her"

_The rules are simple, there are only two. One: You listen. Two: You pass it on. Oh, and you will pass it on. Because if you think, for one second, that your dirty little secrets will remain safe if you keep this darling little podcast to yourself, please know that I'm not stupid. I will make a copy and send it to a friend of mine. If this package doesn't make it to everyone on the list, that person will make sure that this is released in a very public manner._

_This was not a spur-of-the-moment decision._

_Do not take me for granted … again._

**Pause**

He could feel the vomit rising in his throat. Chuck swallowed a few times, trying to push it back down. If he wanted to, he could walk the few steps to the nearby bathroom. He envisioned getting down on his knees and spilling the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. It would have been so easy to get up and do so, except for one thing- he couldn't move. He was literally frozen.

"I never took you for granted Blair" He whispered aloud. "There were some times when it seemed as though I did, and I know I hurt you more than anyone else ever has but I did love you" He cleared his throat before correcting himself. "I still love you"

He looked down at the Ipod screen, silently daring himself to push the button that would fill his ears with her voice once again. The first time it had been so easy. He knew that he would hear her last words, he just didn't think it would be like this. It was Blair talking but she sounded so hurt, he always did have a knack for hearing the unshed tears in her voice.

Now that he had an idea of what he was about to hear, pushing the play button was the most frightening things that he had ever done. Whatever she was going to say next had to be horrible. That's the only logical reason why people were passing it on. He didn't have to wonder what she had to say about him - Chuck Bass: great lover, horrible boyfriend. A selfish, egotistical coward who was so scared of the very idea of being trapped by love that he pushed away the only person who ever really cared about him.

**Play**

_I made a list of all the people who, in some way, helped me make the decision to end my life. Daddy, I tried so hard to make myself believe that you don't belong on this list. However, after much consideration there's no denying it - you're number one. I was closer to you then I could have ever been to Eleanor. Back in my early years, you were my rock, my protector. You were supposed to be there always. You weren't supposed to leave me for your gay lover in France. It took awhile but I've learned to accept the fact that you're attracted to men. I even think of Roman as a third father. But that does not mean that I will ever be okay with you abandoning me. Many times you have said that you left Eleanor, not me. That isn't true. If it were, you wouldn't have disappeared. Why didn't you just stay in Manhattan, you didn't have to move halfway across the world._

**…**

From the moment her father first suggested that they go have tea at the Palace, Blair suspected that something was wrong. Tea time used to be their daily ritual, starting when she was four and ending at age nine when Blair decided that she was too old for something so trivial. After that father-daughter bonding time was spent watching old Audrey Hepburn movies or going to the duck pond in Central Park.

Her father started the conversation off by making idle chit-chat asking her about the courses she was planning on taking that summer and what plans she was making with Serena for the weekend. For a while, Blair played along, politely answering his questions and hiding her disdain. Finally when the tea arrived, she poured herself a cup, mixed in a few drops of lemon juice and sugar cubes until she found it desirable, then promptly cut her father off.

"Why exactly are we here?" She asked.

Harold Waldorf was a little aback taken by his daughter's bluntness. With her suspicious gaze pointed directly at him, he was reminded of his wife when Eleanor was Blair's age. "I just wanted so spend some time with you" He answered. That wasn't his real reason but it wasn't exactly a lie.

Blair blinked, not believing him for a second. At only fourteen years of age she already thought of herself as a grown woman. She was more than a little insulted by her father's blatant lie. "Are you and mother getting a divorce?" She couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. The constant fighting would finally stop and she was more than a little hopeful that wherever her father would go, he would take her with him.

Harold nodded. "Yes" he said softly. He chuckled lightly at Blair's expression. "Don't be so happy about it" He chided.

Blair gave him a half shrug. "Sorry" she said, not really meaning it. "The whole divorce is so very tragic" she sighed dramatically. "The only thing that will help me through this is mentally planning my new bedroom"

Harold looked down, avoiding Blair's eye. "New bedroom?" He questioned.

"I'll have to sleep somewhere in your new place"

Harold swallowed. His throat was constricting and his mouth felt dry. "Blair" He said, putting his hand over hers. "You're not coming with me"

Blair quickly pulled away. Many thoughts swirled around in her head as she struggled to comprehend what her father was saying. "I don't understand," she muttered.

"I'm moving" There was a short pause before he continued. "To France"

"Why? There are plenty of women here in New York. Mother can't intimidate them all"

Harold gave her a shy smile. He knew he would have to tell her his dreadful secret sooner or later. He just hoped that she wouldn't think less of him for hiding it for so long. "That isn't an issue Blair"

"So you're just leaving because you want to get as far away from your family as possible?"

Harold shook his head. "No, it isn't as issue because I'm not attracted to women"

Blair was stupefied for a few seconds. Once the shock wore off, she pretended as though she had never even heard him at all. She picked up her teacup, took a sip then looked around. "Where is that waiter with the scones we ordered?"

Harold wasn't going to let her change the subject that easy. "Blair-Bear," he said softly, capturing her attention. "Do you understand what I'm saying"

"I don't want to talk about this right now" Blair hissed, demonstrating a tactic she learned from her mother. She cletched her teeth shut and gave her father an awkward smile. "We're in a public place"

Harold ignored her inconspicuous demand for him to keep his mouth shut. "I'm gay," he admitted, feeling a sudden need to be completely honest with not only his daughter but himself as well. "I have a lover. His name is Roman. He lives in France and I've decided that I need-"

"That's enough" Blair snapped as she interrupted him. Their table was silence as she thought of her father's many last minute business trips to France, the important events in her life that he had missed out on because he was so busy with 'work.' How many lies had he told, trying to keep his second life a secret? Why did he have to pick now to be honest? High school was going to start in a few weeks, this was sure to give her a bad reputation. Blair suddenly felt sick. This was going to ruin her, not that Harold cared, he was going to escape the damage by running off and leaving her with Eleanor.

She stood up abruptly. "I have to use the ladies room" Blair mumbled. Before her father could stop her, she walked away. She might have felt betrayed but that didn't mean she wasn't going to hold her head up high. As she walked through the hotel's lavish dining room a few of her fellow diners turned their heads to catch a glimpse of the young, stuck up brunette who strutted past them as though she were superior to everyone else around.

It wasn't until she was safe in the empty hallway that she remembered to breathe. Blair shut her eyes and, with her back leaning against the wall, she inhaled slow deep breaths. Her stomach churned uncomfortably and no matter how hard she tried, she could not make it calm down. "I need to throw up" she whispered. She picked herself up and walked, as quickly as possible, to the ladies room. In her rush she completely missed a pair of hazel eyes peeking out from behind a large fern.

The second she closed the door to the stall, Blair felt the bile rise in her throat. She leaned over the toilet, pushed her hair back and vomited the small remains of her breakfast. She then flushed the toilet, wishing that today's confessions could also go down the drain. She then exited her stall and went over to the sink. While she washed her hands, she studied her reflection. There was a light sprinkle of perspiration on her forehead but other than that she looked normal. Blair splashed some water on her face, wiped it dry with a soft paper towel then straightened her headband. While vomiting she had felt a little relief but now the sorrow was beginning to set in once again.

She quickly walked out of the bathroom, trying to devise some scheme to make her father stay. All thoughts of plotting disappeared when she saw a boy standing directly across from the door of the ladies restroom. He was around her age with short, dark brown hair that was brushed back, away from his face. He was beautiful in an almost girlish way with his sharp cheekbones, long eyelashes and wild hazel eyes.

It took Blair a few seconds but she soon recognized him. His name was Charles Bass, although he preferred to be called Chuck, and his father owned this hotel. Eleanor used to be close friends with his mother, Elizabeth, and on more than a few occasions the two were forced to have play dates. That all stopped five years ago when Elizabeth died. The last time Blair had talked to Chuck was at his mother's funeral when she gave him a hug as she whispered her condolences. He had pressed his nose into her hair and held onto her a few seconds longer then necessary. A few days later, Bart Bass shipped his young son off to boarding school and Blair never saw Chuck ever again...until now.

"Blair Waldorf," he said, his full lips slowly curled into a smirk. "I thought I saw you running past me"

"Charles," she replied. The formality between the former playmates was so awkward it made her smile, but just barely. "Where were you hiding this time?"

Chuck blushed. He couldn't deny it if he wanted to. Blair knew, more than anyone else, of his fondness for blending in with the hotel's decor. "Behind the fern" he said, nodding his head towards his secret spot.

"I see that's still a favorite of yours" Blair mused. "I guess some things never change"

"Except you"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Calm down" Chuck ordered, holding up his hands. "I was merely stating that I've never seen you sad before"

"What about at the funeral?" Blair questioned then felt guilty for bringing it up.

If her words bothered him, Chuck didn't let it show. "That was different, you were expressing your sympathy"

"Okay," Blair muttered then looked down at the floor, suddenly interested in the pattern of the carpet.

"There's no need to be bashful" Chuck told her.

Blair lifted her head, her brown eyes meeting equally beautiful hazel ones. "I'm not"

Chuck shrugged. "Whatever"

There was silence as the two stared at one another, then after a few moments had gone by, he spoke once more. "So what are you so upset about?"

Blair didn't know if it was because he actually seemed concerned or if she just needed someone to talk to, whatever the reason she felt compelled to tell Chuck what was bothering her. "My father" she grumbled.

"What about him?"

Blair took a deep breath before answering, "He's leaving." Saying it out loud made it even more real. The person who had swore to never hurt her, was tearing her world apart. Tears welled up in her eyes and she slowly blinked them away.

Chuck stepped towards her, closing the distance between the two. He pulled a monogrammed handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to Blair. Then, before she could object to their closeness, he put a hand on the small of her back and led her over to the service staircase that was hidden further down the hall.

"Bass, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Chuck rolled his eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to get you to sit and take a breather"

Blair felt foolish for being so paranoid but she wouldn't let him know that. She took a seat on a step, not caring that she was dirtying her dress and stared up at him. "Are you just going to stand over me?"

Chuck shook his head, "No." He sat down beside Blair.

She twirled the handkerchief in her hands but refused to say anything else. She wondered how the two of them looked to anyone walking by. They were quite a pair- she wore a royal blue dress with her wavy hair held back by a dark headband, he matched her perfectly with an equally blue sweater and plaid pants.

Chuck put a timid arm around Blair, attempting to comfort her. "Your father leaving isn't the end of the world"

"That isn't it," she mumbled.

"What else is there?"

Blair shoved Chuck away, "I don't talk about it" she replied curtly.

As if on cue, she heard her father calling her name. "Blair, where are you?"

"I have to go" she whispered to Chuck.

He leaned towards her, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "You will get through this" he told her. "I should know"

Blair closed her eyes, not wanting to move away from him. This just may be the last time she would ever feel as though her world wasn't slipping away.

**Author's Note: I wrote around three thousand words and a few times I considered leaving you with a cliff hanger but I didn't. I think for that I deserve a few reviews.**


	3. Chapter Two

**Play**

**…**

"I thought we were going to keep the discrepancies in our marriage between the two of us."

From behind the closed door of Harold's study, Eleanor's voice reached Blair's eager ears. The young girl paused, leaning towards the door as though the extra half inch of distance would give her an advantage. Technically, what Blair was doing wasn't exactly considered eavesdropping; she was simply walking, back and forth, down the hallway multiple times.

Harold exhaled noisily. "She was going to find out sooner or later. I'd rather she hear it from me"

"And I'd rather not have my daughter come home in tears" Eleanor snapped.

"Like you actually care" Blair thought. And by her father's delayed response, she knew that he was probably thinking the exact same thing.

"Did you want me to lie to her?" Harold questioned. When he didn't get a reply, he softened his tone. "Blair is just a little upset right now. Even if I had withheld a few details from her, she would still feel the same way. I'm sure she'll come around once the shock wears off"

Eleanor let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't have to patience to finish this conversation right now"

In her mind, Blair imagined her mother holding her hand up as she turned around, preparing to walk away - this was Eleanor's universal signal which meant that she was not only shutting Harold out but she wouldn't be continuing their talk anytime soon.

"Please do me and Blair a favor and be gone by the end of the week"

"I can't" Harold objected. "I promised Blair that I would stay until the divorce was finalized"

"Then tell her that there was a change of plans" Eleanor hissed. "I think you leaving sooner than planned will be best. After all, why prolong the inevitable?"

Blair quickly backed away, heading for the staircase. It wasn't fair, her mother controlled every aspect of Blair's life and she was never allowed to have any input. She wished that just once Eleanor would see that she was capable of making her own decisions and stop being so damn overbearing.

_"That's never going to happen,"_ Blair shut her eyes, willing away the tears, as she shoved a finger down her throat and leaned over the toilet.

**...**

_Daddy, if you had stayed, I don't know how my life could have been different. It could have been better, it could have been worse. I just know that because of your decisions this next person ended up on the list. I'm not blaming you for the mistakes that someone else made. I just saying that maybe it could have been prevented._

There was a short pause.

_Or maybe not. We'll never know. Either way, I love you daddy. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough to make you stay._

Chuck wiped the sweat off his palms by brushing his hands against the legs of his pants. He repeated the actions a few more times but they still felt damp. "I'm next" He whispered, his heart beginning to race. "If Blair's father hadn't left, she would have never needed me"

He tried to remember how to breathe. Oxygen was supposed to go in, right?

On the podcast, Blair mumbled what sounded like another apology to her father before inhaling a deep breath.

_Next on the list is the darling Nate Archibald. Honey, you were my first love- my first hand to hold, my first kiss. But it was just puppy love, it didn't mean anything. I'm not saying that to be cruel, it's just the truth. Even though it once seemed as though our relationship was something special- it wasn't real. And it's highly unlikely that anything would have come of it. But back then, when we were kids, you thought differently, didn't you? That's the only reason that I can come up with that could possibly explain your actions._

**...**

"I'm breaking up with you" Blair Waldorf announced the second Nate Archibald answered the telephone. No greeting or small talk, just straight to the point.

"Wh-what?" Nate stuttered, taken by surprise. As far as he knew, him and Blair had the perfect relationship- they never fought, she didn't make ridiculous demands and his parents loved her. "What did I do?"

"Nothing, I just need some time alone" And that was the truth. With her life going downhill so suddenly, she needed some time to sort herself out- something she couldn't do with a puppy dog of a boyfriend following her around constantly.

"Why?" He questioned.

As the seconds ticked by, Blair felt increasingly defensive. She rolled her eyes, glad that Nate couldn't see her. "Whiny is not a good look on you" She commented lightly.

"You don't have to be such a bitch" Nate grumbled, promptly hanging up afterwards.

Blair brought her pinky to her lips, nervously chewing on her fingernail as she wondered if she could have handled the situation better. Perhaps she was a little too straightforward, maybe she should have softened the blow somehow. It was the first breakup she would ever have in her short life, no one could expect her to do it perfectly.

**...**

Two weeks went by before Blair spoke to Nate again. Like the perfect Archibald gentleman that he was expected to be, Nate called a few times and dropped by once or twice, but he was always ignored. In fact, Blair ignored everyone except Serena, who was so abrasive that it was nearly impossible to block her out. She would have liked to continue living life in such a meek existence but of course all good things must come to an end. Her re-entrance into the world was the latest high society luncheon that Blair was forced to attend. Eleanor usually didn't care if her daughter skipped out on a few events every now and then but in order to show the world that Harold's disappearance didn't affect the Waldorf girls in the slightest bit, attendance was necessary.

And so, for the second time that month, Blair was at the Palace hotel, hoping to avoid another uncomfortable conversation. She stood next to her best friend, Serena Van der Woodsen, and the girl that she seldom tolerated, Georgina Sparks , looking every bit out of place as she felt. Occasionally Blair would mutter some input but for the most part she remained silent. Whenever her companions were distracted, Blair would scan the room with her eyes in nervous anticipation. At a table, a few feet away, her parents divorce was being discussed by gossiping older woman, and it seemed as though every time Blair looked up, Eleanor moved closer to the group. It was unlikely that a confrontation would occur but it was possible that Eleanor would be in a bad mood for days on end and that meant Blair would have to suffer.

"Blair, did you even hear a word of what I just said?" Georgina questioned.

Blair turned to the dark haired girl although her eyes were still on her mother. "Of course I did"

"Then what did I just say?"

Without even looking at Georgina, Blair knew that the obnoxious girl was raising her brow in her usual superior manner. Serena, the un-loyal traitor, raised a hand to muffle a giggle. Blair narrowed her eyes at the blonde before turning to the third girl.

"The same thing you always ramble on and on about - Carter Baizen" Blair rolled her eyes in disgust. Carter Baizen was an older boy who Georgina had recently hooked up with at a party. His bad judgement was his least undesirable trait, it paled in comparison to his mistakenable impression that he was god's gift to women. Recently, Blair had become the aspiring womanizer's favorite challenge since she made it common knowledge that she found him repulsive.

Georgina's lips formed into a thin, rigid line. "No, actually I was discussing your little boy toy Nate"

"Georgie" Serena whispered the nickname as a warning. The tension between the two brunettes was quickly becoming a little too thick and as usual Serena was trying to stop an argument before it even started.

Blair shrugged nonchalantly, purposely ignoring the wary look that Serena was now giving her. "I'm sorry to disappoint you but Nate is no longer any concern of mine"

"So you don't care that Penelope Shafai is hanging all over him?" Georgina asked, her green eyes twinkled with mischief. As the self-appointed troublemaker of the trio, she was a notorious instigator and never missed an opportunity to stir up a little drama.

Blair didn't even have to turn towards her ex-boyfriend to know that Georgina was speaking the truth. Penelope was obsessed with Nate and followed him everywhere as though her constant presence would somehow make the coveted boy love her. Blair would never admit it out loud, but she felt like marching right over to her former minion and letting Penelope know, in a very cruel way, that Nate still belonged to her.

The only problem was that he didn't actually belong to Blair, at least not anymore. So, the young brunette kept her head held high and lied. "Nope" She replied, a fake smile tugging on her lips. "I broke up with him, not the other way around. Frankly, I don't care what or who he does-"

Blair was going to continue her little rant about how she no longer cared for Nate when Serena let out a loud and obviously fake cough, interrupting her.

"What?" Blair asked.

Before Serena could even open her mouth, Georgina quickly answered for her. "Turn around" The devil incarnate said, a smirk gracing her face.

Blair did as Georgina had directed, she turned to see Nate standing directly within earshot. The frown marring his handsome face was a dead giveaway that he had heard everything Blair had said about him.

"Blair, can we talk?" He asked.

From over Nate's shoulder, Blair could see Penelope shooting daggers at the couple with her eyes. She then looked over at Georgina and Serena who were leaning slightly towards her, listening intently. "No" she whispered, shaking her head. "At least not right now"

Wrinkles appeared in Nate's forehead as he scrunched his eyebrows. "Why? Because you no longer care about me?"

Blair couldn't lie to Nate's face, nor could she tell him the truth. "I have to go" She said quickly before pushing past him. She walked out of the dining room, ignoring the sharp look Eleanor was giving her.

It wasn't until she was standing directly in front of Chuck's favorite fern, that she even realized that she had been searching for him. However, the mischievous teen wasn't in his usual hiding place. Blair even peeked behind the bushes to make sure she hadn't overlooked him.

"Looking for me?" Someone called for behind her.

Blair was caught off guard, she let out a soft gasp and became rigid for a second. "You shouldn't sneak up on people" She scolded Chuck as she turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry" Chuck's snicker made his apology seem insincere. "I saw you leave and thought that I should follow you to see if you wanted to talk" He nodded his head in the direction of the plant. "I suppose you had a similar idea"

"Yeah" Blair nodded. "I thought you would be out here"

His face contorted into a look of confusion. "Why? It's not like me skipping the luncheon was really an option"

She mentally whacked her forehead. "That's right" Blair murmured. "I forgot it was your father's party"

Chuck smiled. "Getting forgetful in your old age, huh?" He teased.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up, I'm only a few months older than you"

"Soon those extra months are going to become offensive and you'll have to stop toting them out as though they're some kind of asset"

Blair cocked her head to the side and smirked. "Unfortunately for you, that won't be for a very long time"

Chuck shrugged. "Time goes by fast"

Their playful banter felt so natural, Blair soon became immersed in it. As the time passed by, her trouble began to slip away. Or at least they were before Chuck decided to bring them up.

"So how are you parents?" He questioned, probably thinking that getting her to talk about the divorce would make her feel better.

Blair groaned but couldn't find the right words to explain the situation. Her best option was to remain silent, so she did just that.

Chuck raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"

"Yes," Blair sighed."My father is upset because my mother is acting like her usual self, which means she's being a vindictive bitch. And mother is upset that after so many years of marriage, he decided to announce that he's gay" She paused for half of second, surprised that she somehow blurted out the dreadful secret. She studied Chuck's face, it was obvious that he wasn't expecting her to say that but he managed to control his facial expression. That gave Blair the courage to continue. "But of course mother isn't actually upset about that, she's just pissed because it's going to humiliate her when everyone finds out"

Chuck struggled to find the right words. "That sounds harsh," He said slowly.

Blair nodded. "You have no idea" She mumbled, finally glad to let it all out. "And on top of that I have an ex-boyfriend who just doesn't realize that even though I want to be with him, I just can't be in a relationship right now"

"Why? Because you don't think you deserve to be happy when you're parents have so much drama going on?"

Blair stared at Chuck, wishing that he wasn't so insightful and could be dense like most other boys. "No" she said softly, not sure if she was lying or not. "I just have a lot of things to deal with right now"

"No" Chuck corrected her. "You're parents have a lot of shit to deal with, you just have to be you. It's really quite simple."

Blair shook her head. "It's really not"

"Yes" Chuck took her by surprise by grabbing Blair by her wrists and pulling her towards him. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her a completely platonic hug. "You're just a kid" He said, sounding as though he was much older than her. "It's your parent's mess, not yours. You shouldn't have to obsess over it"

Blair sighed, racking her mind for a counter argument. She almost had it when she heard someone behind her cough. The two brunette heads turned to where Nate stood, just down the hall. There was a scowl on the young blonde's face but underneath the anger there was plenty of hurt.

"I guess now I know why you broke up with me without any explanation"

"No" Blair said quickly, stepping away from Chuck. Before she could say anything else Nate stormed off, leaving her standing there as a dreadful feeling overcame here. The day could only get worse.

"I'm guessing that was the ex-boyfriend you were talking about" Chuck commented.

Blair turned to give him her best glare. "You're so observant" She said, her voice full of sarcasm.

**...**

**Pause**

Chuck heard the ding of the elevator and turned around just in time to see Nate stroll through the apartment. The blonde saw his friend and lifted his hand as a greeting. For the past week, it had been wrapped in a bandage but now his knuckles were finally bare.

"I got my stitches taken out" Nate said, his voice raspy with possible sorrow. His eyes were purposely pointed down at the floor as though he couldn't look at his best friend.

Chuck didn't say a word, he just watched as Nate walked off to his room with his shoulders slumped. He finally knew why his friend had been so depressed lately, it wasn't just because Blair was gone. Nate had listened to the tapes and knew that he was somehow responsible for her death. Chuck wondered what Nate's past mistakes were. Whatever they were, it was enough to make the usually easy going blonde break Carter Baizen's nose at the funeral. Maybe that was Nate's way of earning redemption. His curiosity gave him the strength to push the familiar sideways triangle button.

**Play**

_Honey, it's been years so it's likely that you don't even remember what you did. Or perhaps you made yourself forget. Because how could Nate Archibald, the perfect gentleman, possibly be the spark which ignited the flame of troubled Blair Waldorf's messy downfall?_


End file.
